
Who Needs Sex Addiction Treatment?
Let’s break it down. First, it's chronic, meaning the person does it over and over, habitually. Second, it's compulsive, meaning the person is unable to control or stop it. Third, it's maladaptive, meaning it is an unhealthy way of trying to adapt or cope with a stressor. Fourth, it gives immediate sensory rewards, meaning the brain releases a chemical like dopamine, endorphins or oxytocin that rewards the behavior with a feeling of euphoria, happiness, or contentment. Fifth, the person repeats the behavior to get another reward only to find that the behavior must be intensified to get the same feeling. Sixth, getting the reward comes to outweigh the negative consequences of the behavior.
Here are some typical signs of a sex addiction:
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Inability to set sexual limits or boundaries
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Excessive time spent pursuing and engaging in sex
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Negative consequences of sexual excesses
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Prioritizing sexual indulgences over other obligations
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Using impersonal sexual outlets such as pornography, prostitution, and cybersex
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Increasing intensity of sex or risk-taking behaviors to achieve a sexual “high”
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Feeling shame, guilt, and self-loathing, yet unable to stop
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Relapsing during times of stress or boredom
If you’re a Christian, you may be asking, “Is it an addiction or a sin?” It’s both. Hypersexual compulsive behavior definitely fits the definition of addiction, but as is true of so many things, at its heart sex addiction is a seeking of and dependence on the gift rather than the Giver. Sex is a gift of God, but when we come to seek it apart from the purpose for which God gave it, that is sin: falling short of God’s will. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 says, “For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you keep away from sexual immorality, that each of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not with lustful passions, like the Gentiles, who don’t know God.” God’s will is our “sanctification,” which means the state of being and doing right. When it comes to sex, doing right requires keeping away, not from sex itself but from sexual immorality, the obsession with and misuse of sex. We can do that by learning to control our body so that we are not controlled by our passions.
That’s easier said than done. You’re here because you want to do sex right, yet Romans 7:15 describes you: “I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate.” You feel helpless. You’ve tried prayer, fasting, Scripture memory, asking God to remove your urges, but nothing seems to work. Know that you are not alone.
Sex Addiction Has Become Pretty Common
It is estimated that 12 to 30 million Americans have some kind of sexual compulsion. According to the Mayo Clinic, approximately 6 to 8% of U.S. adults could be classified as having a sex addiction. This is upwards of 24 million people. And in our highly sexualized society, that number is increasing due to the easy access by the internet to sexual material including every variety of pornography, apps for “hookups,” and cybersex. One study found that 4.7 million U.S. adults spend more than 11 hours per week looking at online pornography.
Christians are not exempt. The Promise Keepers organization did a survey of men who attended their conferences and found that over sixty percent said that they struggle with sexual sin. A quick read of the Bible shows that sexual sin has been a problem from the beginning. God’s strongest man, Samson; God’s greatest king, David; and God’s wisest leader, Solomon were all sexual sinners. And not only men, but so was the woman at the well of Samaria in John 4 who had multiple marriages and many lovers; and the woman caught in the act of adultery in John 8.
Freedom Is Possible With Treatment
Is it possible to be free from sex addiction? With sex addiction treatment, absolutely yes. But you are unlikely to break the grip of sex addiction alone. Sex addiction thrives in isolation but it dies in community. With the help of a therapist trained in sex addiction treatment, you will discover and address the root cause or causes of your addiction and learn strategies to address them in a healthy way so that your compulsive hypersexual behavior is no longer necessary to keep you on an even keel emotionally.
Recovery will take time. You didn’t get into sex addiction overnight, and you won’t get out overnight either.
The strategies that you will learn in sex addiction treatment work, but you have to work them and keep working them.
TREATMENT IS THE KEY
Let’s understand what’s going on. Sex addiction, like all addictions, is complex and there can be many things driving it such as mood. Sex compulsions can be a way of coping with emotional pain or stress triggered by moods like sadness, happiness, or loneliness. It could also be driven by hormones such as too much androgen, the sex hormone that affects libido. But perhaps the largest driver of sex addiction is brain chemistry where people have become addicted to the chemicals in their own body.
In sex addiction treatment, we look at what is causing the anxiety, disappointment, depression, stress, etc. Our bodies are always looking for ways to level out our systems, and they will use adaptive or maladaptive behaviors, whichever we give them. Treating habits without treating the cause will always fail.
WILL YOU TAKE THE FIRST STEP?
Romans 12:2 holds the key for breaking free from any addiction. It says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” You have been listening to what our sexually obsessed culture says about sex. You’ve been viewing its images and engaging with its fantasies.
Reach out right now and make an appointment. Fill out the contact form or call 972-422-8383 to take the first step on your journey to freedom